Elizabeth Marshall Thomas has lived an extraordinary life.
She has been a bestselling author of books about animal behavior and other
cultures based upon her decades of personal observations and experiences from
around the world. She has, in fact, been places and done things that the rest
of us can only dream about. Thomas, though, is eighty-eight years old and that
kind of adventure is forever behind her. These days, the author spends much of
her time observing the human aging process in herself and those around her and
figuring out how to make the best of the years she has left. Now, with Growing
Old: Notes on Aging with Something Like Grace, she shares her observations
and thoughts with the rest of us.
Perhaps because Thomas is only seventeen years
older than me, and that I’ve been caring for my 97-year-old father for a decade
now, relatively little of what she has to say here really surprises me. I
suspect, though, that readers in their fourth and fifth decades will have an
entirely different reaction to reading Growing Old. Too, those hoping to
find religiously-based reasons for not fearing aging and death should note that
they are not going to find them here. According to Thomas, “…by the time I was
in my teens, I’d decided that if God does unacceptable things, he’s not like an
employer whose job you can quit or a public official you can vote against. All
you can do about a cruel invisible tyrant is to believe he doesn’t exist.” She
goes on to say, “So I decided there wasn’t a hell, and death seemed a little
less horrible.”
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| Elizabeth Marshall Thomas |
Growing Old includes chapters on how quickly time
seems to pass for elderly people; on reasons not to fear death; on how deteriorating
eyesight can directly lead to hearing loss and dementia; on the “cultural
problems” associated with old age; on how too many doctors really feel
about the elderly; and on how having friends will keep you alive, among other
topics. And then there are the practical chapters covering topics such
as senior living communities, medications, funeral homes and cemeteries, and
the like. All of this will be invaluable information for those who are
themselves approaching old age or whose parents are already there.
But there are also takeaways for near-contemporaries of the
author, cheerful little pep talks like the following paragraph:
“Thus life
while aging can be wonderful. It’s just wonderful in a different way than it
was when you were young. For instance, you’re smarter than the younger people,
but not because your brain functions better. Your brain was at its peak when
you were thirty, and now that you’re old, you forget people’s names and lose
things. But you understand the world around you more deeply and clearly. You
excel at interpreting your surroundings because of all you’ve learned.”
And, finally, there’s this thought:
“Not only
can you adjust to aging; you can sometimes do the things you did when you were
young. You just do them with a little more equipment and in different ways,
which seems easy enough, especially if age has made you smarter and more
thoughtful.”
Bottom Line: Sometimes deadly serious, sometimes funny, Growing
Old is part memoir, part handbook on the whole aging process. While it does
not break much new ground, it does offer useful insights into growing old for the
uninitiated. It could be especially useful, I think, for those trying to deal
with and understand their elderly parents. Next up for Thomas is a book on
commas, how to use them correctly and why she loves them so much. I can’t wait.
(Seriously.)
Advance Review Copy provided by HarperCollins Publishers for Review Purposes
