Growing Old: Notes on Aging with Something Like Grace - Elizabeth Marshall Thomas

Elizabeth Marshall Thomas has lived an extraordinary life. She has been a bestselling author of books about animal behavior and other cultures based upon her decades of personal observations and experiences from around the world. She has, in fact, been places and done things that the rest of us can only dream about. Thomas, though, is eighty-eight years old and that kind of adventure is forever behind her. These days, the author spends much of her time observing the human aging process in herself and those around her and figuring out how to make the best of the years she has left. Now, with Growing Old: Notes on Aging with Something Like Grace, she shares her observations and thoughts with the rest of us.

  Perhaps because Thomas is only seventeen years older than me, and that I’ve been caring for my 97-year-old father for a decade now, relatively little of what she has to say here really surprises me. I suspect, though, that readers in their fourth and fifth decades will have an entirely different reaction to reading Growing Old. Too, those hoping to find religiously-based reasons for not fearing aging and death should note that they are not going to find them here. According to Thomas, “…by the time I was in my teens, I’d decided that if God does unacceptable things, he’s not like an employer whose job you can quit or a public official you can vote against. All you can do about a cruel invisible tyrant is to believe he doesn’t exist.” She goes on to say, “So I decided there wasn’t a hell, and death seemed a little less horrible.”

Elizabeth Marshall Thomas

Growing Old includes chapters on how quickly time seems to pass for elderly people; on reasons not to fear death; on how deteriorating eyesight can directly lead to hearing loss and dementia; on the “cultural problems” associated with old age; on how too many doctors really feel about the elderly; and on how having friends will keep you alive, among other topics. And then there are the practical chapters covering topics such as senior living communities, medications, funeral homes and cemeteries, and the like. All of this will be invaluable information for those who are themselves approaching old age or whose parents are already there.

But there are also takeaways for near-contemporaries of the author, cheerful little pep talks like the following paragraph:

            “Thus life while aging can be wonderful. It’s just wonderful in a different way than it was when you were young. For instance, you’re smarter than the younger people, but not because your brain functions better. Your brain was at its peak when you were thirty, and now that you’re old, you forget people’s names and lose things. But you understand the world around you more deeply and clearly. You excel at interpreting your surroundings because of all you’ve learned.”

And, finally, there’s this thought:

            “Not only can you adjust to aging; you can sometimes do the things you did when you were young. You just do them with a little more equipment and in different ways, which seems easy enough, especially if age has made you smarter and more thoughtful.”

Bottom Line: Sometimes deadly serious, sometimes funny, Growing Old is part memoir, part handbook on the whole aging process. While it does not break much new ground, it does offer useful insights into growing old for the uninitiated. It could be especially useful, I think, for those trying to deal with and understand their elderly parents. Next up for Thomas is a book on commas, how to use them correctly and why she loves them so much. I can’t wait. (Seriously.)

Advance Review Copy provided by HarperCollins Publishers for Review Purposes